This song says exactly how I feel. Make sure you have a tissue.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
Lucky 13!
Thirteen years ago today I married my best friend. Greg and I were just 19 years old back in 1994. We were not sure of much except for that we were in love. Today we celebrate our anniversary. I love Greg more today than I ever dreamed possible. He has made my life fun, exciting, and filled with love. I want Greg to know and the world to know that I love my high school sweet heart more than anything. I would not change a thing about our lives.
People often ask me if I had it to do over again would we have waited to have children. I know I would never want to take away the time that I have had with just us two. We have had some wonderful times. We have such fun stories to someday share with our daughter.
Greg, thank you for being you. Thank you for always taking care of me. Thank you for encouraging me to be the best that I can be at whatever I chose. You are the most caring, compassionate, and generous person I will ever know. I love you more than I can ever show you. Thank you for choosing me to be your wife.
Love, Alicia
People often ask me if I had it to do over again would we have waited to have children. I know I would never want to take away the time that I have had with just us two. We have had some wonderful times. We have such fun stories to someday share with our daughter.
Greg, thank you for being you. Thank you for always taking care of me. Thank you for encouraging me to be the best that I can be at whatever I chose. You are the most caring, compassionate, and generous person I will ever know. I love you more than I can ever show you. Thank you for choosing me to be your wife.
Love, Alicia
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Will things speed Up?
Everyday Greg and I read a website called China Adopt Talk. In the adoption community she is known as Rumor Queen. It has been a nice place for us to visit with others who are in the same boat as we are. I thought she did an excellent job explaining why things might have slowed down and if we can expect to see things speed up again.
Will things speed Up?
I don’t think I’m covering any new ground with this post. But I’ve seen people trying to work through some of the various theories out there and I figured we might as well put them all in one place.
Before we talk about what would have to happen in order for things to speed up, we must talk about why things slowed down. There are a variety of theories:
1. There are no longer that many NSN orphans in China.
2. There are plenty of orphans, but problems getting them made paper ready.
3. The CCAA has a yearly ceiling that they cannot go over, and that ceiling was lowered last year and then lowered again this year. The ceiling also includes SN children, so the more SN adoptions that happen the less NSN matches can be made.
4. The Chinese government wants to make the world think there is no orphan problem as we lead up to the Olympics. So they empty the orphanages out into foster care and say there are no more orphans. The long wait becomes proof that they have solved their orphan problem, since this proves there aren’t enough babies to adopt out.
Now, let me go through each of these.
1. There are no longer that many NSN orphans in China.
If this is the case then there can not be a speed up. If there are truly no more abandonments, or if domestic adoption has actually taken hold and the babies who are abandoned are being adopted, then IA is no longer needed in China.
2. There are plenty of orphans, but problems getting them made paper ready.
We are hearing word that all SWI’s can now send paperwork in. At least one agency has began working with an orphanage they are aware of that is full of babies that are not being made paper ready to help them prepare children’s paperwork for IA. If this is the reason then we might hope to see a slight speed up. I say slight because this problem would tell us that the orphanages previously sending paperwork are no longer capable of doing so, for whatever reason. So we would need to rely on orphanages not previously sending paperwork. So, this reason really isn’t that there are “plenty” of orphans, just that there are less than there used to be. If this one is true then I would expect to start seeing more babies in November.
3. The CCAA has a yearly ceiling that they cannot go over, and that ceiling was lowered last year and then lowered again this year. The ceiling also includes SN children, so the more SN adoptions that happen the less NSN matches can be made.
If this is true then we are stuck with what we have until someone tells the CCAA they can begin referring more NSN babies out than they’ve been allowed to do last year and this year. If this one is true then we also have some weird things that happen with attrition levels moving back and forth from NSN to SN, see the Attrition Logic Post for more information if you missed that entry.
4. The Chinese government wants to make the world think there is no orphan problem as we lead up to the Olympics. So they empty the orphanages out into foster care and say there are no more orphans. The long wait becomes proof that they have solved their orphan problem, since this proves there aren’t enough babies to adopt out.
This one gets more complicated. There are some who point out that if all they are interested in is the numbers that get reported then the last numbers that will be reported are this years numbers, in which case things might speed up starting with late November’s referrals, since those people will not complete their adoption until January of ‘08. If the State Department uses a different fiscal year then it could be even sooner than that. (Coincidentally, November is when we might expect to see a speed up from bringing in all of the SWI’s.)
However, if they want to be able to point to the actual wait as proof that there are no more orphans (and thus, no more abandonment problem) then we would not expect to see a change until after the Olympics.
And then there is the possibility that with the Olympics being China’s “Coming Out” Party, that things may never go back to the way they were. China will want to maintain the perception that they are now a First World Country and that they can “take care of their own”. Meaning they will want to keep up the illusion that there are no more abandonments and no more orphans.
So, back to our original question: Will things speed up?
I do not think that China just suddenly one month ran out of babies. They went from referring about a month every month to referring half months, and then went down from there. One would think that this would have been more gradual and not so sudden if it weren’t an artificially constructed “problem”.
I believe that some orphanages do have mostly SN babies and hardly any NSN babies. I believe that some areas of the country are more prosperous and that there truly are less orphans. A wonderful thing.
However, I am also aware of orphanages that are full of babies. And I’m aware of orphanages that have a small percentage of the babies now that they had years ago, but when families ask about how many babies are in foster care it brings the numbers back up to the same neighborhood they were in four or five years ago.
This means that I think there are babies available, and thus I believe a speed up is possible. I don’t believe it is probable, but I do believe it is possible.
If we are dealing with a quota, or with issues around the Olympics (and this could very well be that both of these are the case) then unless the theory is correct that they are only interested in published numbers, I don’t think we can hope to see a speed up anytime soon. If ever.
Will things speed Up?
I don’t think I’m covering any new ground with this post. But I’ve seen people trying to work through some of the various theories out there and I figured we might as well put them all in one place.
Before we talk about what would have to happen in order for things to speed up, we must talk about why things slowed down. There are a variety of theories:
1. There are no longer that many NSN orphans in China.
2. There are plenty of orphans, but problems getting them made paper ready.
3. The CCAA has a yearly ceiling that they cannot go over, and that ceiling was lowered last year and then lowered again this year. The ceiling also includes SN children, so the more SN adoptions that happen the less NSN matches can be made.
4. The Chinese government wants to make the world think there is no orphan problem as we lead up to the Olympics. So they empty the orphanages out into foster care and say there are no more orphans. The long wait becomes proof that they have solved their orphan problem, since this proves there aren’t enough babies to adopt out.
Now, let me go through each of these.
1. There are no longer that many NSN orphans in China.
If this is the case then there can not be a speed up. If there are truly no more abandonments, or if domestic adoption has actually taken hold and the babies who are abandoned are being adopted, then IA is no longer needed in China.
2. There are plenty of orphans, but problems getting them made paper ready.
We are hearing word that all SWI’s can now send paperwork in. At least one agency has began working with an orphanage they are aware of that is full of babies that are not being made paper ready to help them prepare children’s paperwork for IA. If this is the reason then we might hope to see a slight speed up. I say slight because this problem would tell us that the orphanages previously sending paperwork are no longer capable of doing so, for whatever reason. So we would need to rely on orphanages not previously sending paperwork. So, this reason really isn’t that there are “plenty” of orphans, just that there are less than there used to be. If this one is true then I would expect to start seeing more babies in November.
3. The CCAA has a yearly ceiling that they cannot go over, and that ceiling was lowered last year and then lowered again this year. The ceiling also includes SN children, so the more SN adoptions that happen the less NSN matches can be made.
If this is true then we are stuck with what we have until someone tells the CCAA they can begin referring more NSN babies out than they’ve been allowed to do last year and this year. If this one is true then we also have some weird things that happen with attrition levels moving back and forth from NSN to SN, see the Attrition Logic Post for more information if you missed that entry.
4. The Chinese government wants to make the world think there is no orphan problem as we lead up to the Olympics. So they empty the orphanages out into foster care and say there are no more orphans. The long wait becomes proof that they have solved their orphan problem, since this proves there aren’t enough babies to adopt out.
This one gets more complicated. There are some who point out that if all they are interested in is the numbers that get reported then the last numbers that will be reported are this years numbers, in which case things might speed up starting with late November’s referrals, since those people will not complete their adoption until January of ‘08. If the State Department uses a different fiscal year then it could be even sooner than that. (Coincidentally, November is when we might expect to see a speed up from bringing in all of the SWI’s.)
However, if they want to be able to point to the actual wait as proof that there are no more orphans (and thus, no more abandonment problem) then we would not expect to see a change until after the Olympics.
And then there is the possibility that with the Olympics being China’s “Coming Out” Party, that things may never go back to the way they were. China will want to maintain the perception that they are now a First World Country and that they can “take care of their own”. Meaning they will want to keep up the illusion that there are no more abandonments and no more orphans.
So, back to our original question: Will things speed up?
I do not think that China just suddenly one month ran out of babies. They went from referring about a month every month to referring half months, and then went down from there. One would think that this would have been more gradual and not so sudden if it weren’t an artificially constructed “problem”.
I believe that some orphanages do have mostly SN babies and hardly any NSN babies. I believe that some areas of the country are more prosperous and that there truly are less orphans. A wonderful thing.
However, I am also aware of orphanages that are full of babies. And I’m aware of orphanages that have a small percentage of the babies now that they had years ago, but when families ask about how many babies are in foster care it brings the numbers back up to the same neighborhood they were in four or five years ago.
This means that I think there are babies available, and thus I believe a speed up is possible. I don’t believe it is probable, but I do believe it is possible.
If we are dealing with a quota, or with issues around the Olympics (and this could very well be that both of these are the case) then unless the theory is correct that they are only interested in published numbers, I don’t think we can hope to see a speed up anytime soon. If ever.
Where did June go?
We have had a busy month. I just got back from my parents house where we enjoyed the lake. I wanted to go to Ft. Hood to see my friend Suzanne for the 4th of July. Things did not work out as Greg was working and felt left out. So I am staying home. We may go to a BBQ with our friends that we have met through our adoption if we don't get rained out.
I hired a Personal Trainer at 24 Hour Fitness. I have been doing fantastic...just had to brag a little! I am down 15 pounds in 38 days! Yahoo for me! We have been counting calories and it is really working. Greg is down seven pounds too! With his job it is hard for him to exercise. But he is doing great too. Since I am paying a trainer I never miss a workout!!
Last week my sister, nieces and I made a trip to our parents in Missouri. We were there four full days and had a fun time. Summer rode the tube and thought that was just the best thing! Of course we had to monitor our speed in RPM's because we were going so slow!!! We boated and played on the boat dock each day. My nieces did wonderful again on the trip there. I feel like we are asking a lot of them to make the trip so I could never say they did bad. We had bad road conditions so our 12 hour trip became 15 hours. As an adult you want to scream so you can imagine how a 15 month old reacts. The long trip was well worth it. Seeing my parents is always fun. I can't wait for them to be grandparents again.
We are nine months "Paper Pregnant". When we started the process we were told our wait would be 8-10 months. So we figured we would have a normal pregnancy. As we all know things have changed drastically. We are now praying that we will get our daughter in early 2009. It is very mind boggling to think we will be waiting that long. I would prefer to believe it could be that long rather than keep thinking that it won't be and then be more disappointed. We have looked into other countries but China seems to still be the right fit for us. We continue to ask for your prayers in bringing our Mari home.
We hope you all have a fun and safe 4th of July! Take care.
Love,
Alicia
Sunday, June 10, 2007
New Eyes for Greg
On Friday June 8 Greg got "New Eyes"! Greg had Lasik eye surgery. He is doing wonderful! On Saturday he read 20/20!!! It was truly amazing. Greg has worn glasses since he was five years old. As you can imagine he is quite excited and keeps saying to me "can you read what that says...because I sure can"! He has always wanted to have the Lasik eye surgery and this year for his 32 Birthday we bit the bullet and did it!
I hope this finds you all having a great June. It is quite steamy down here in Texas. My nieces will be here this afternoon! So we plan to do lots of swimming. Take care.
Love, Alicia
I hope this finds you all having a great June. It is quite steamy down here in Texas. My nieces will be here this afternoon! So we plan to do lots of swimming. Take care.
Love, Alicia
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Meeting others in the same boat
As many of you know I have had an extremely hard time making friends this time around in Texas. I have had many bad moments where I have cried my eyes out because none of my neighbors will even say hello to me. As many of you know Greg is about as solid as they come and then there is me. Well, Greg took pity on me and left a message on a China board asking if there was anyone in our area like us! You know the type: we live in a neighborhood full of children, we have a four bedroom house, we have a family car, and we stare in awe at others children. To our surprise, this nice lady Carrie emailed me and invited us to a Families with Children from China dinner. Of course, Greg and I jumped right in our car and went! We met some wonderful people and we are so excited to have met others like us! No one can understand our wait except for people who are waiting or have waited too. It was such a wonderful feeling to be able to chat about our wait and see the beautiful children that are now with their forever family. So after last night I feel renewed like I can make this journey and I can stay in Texas even if my neighbors think I am weird for not having children!
I hope this finds you all having a great weekend. Greg's schedule has changed so now on Sunday afternoons he works. BUT he is now off EVERY Friday and Saturday. No more work 12 off two. Have a great week.
Love, Alicia
I hope this finds you all having a great weekend. Greg's schedule has changed so now on Sunday afternoons he works. BUT he is now off EVERY Friday and Saturday. No more work 12 off two. Have a great week.
Love, Alicia
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Auntie!!!
Last week my darling nieces Summer and Lilly came to stay with us from Sunday until Tuesday. My sister came on Tuesday and they all stayed until Friday. My sister, Heather, is an RN and since they are still new to San Antonio they do not have a babysitter. So for now I am the babysitter. I can't complain I am enjoying every moment with them. Greg and I are getting great practice being parents. Let me tell you, Auntie was very tired by Tuesday night. Summer is four and Lilly is 15 months. Summer is a typical four year old...she can do everything and knows everything. Lilly is a holy terror! She is into everything. Nothing is safe when Lilly is around. She loves Riley and will yell his name from every room of the house. It is so funny! We had a fun time. We went to the park, blew bubbles, had a play date with the neighbor, swam in the pool, and of course had hot dogs and macaroni and cheese.
I hope this finds you all having a great May. My friend Elizabeth will be here this Friday. I haven't seen her in almost two years so I am very excited. Have a great week.
Love, Alicia
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